Just a closer walk with Thee

May 7 2021
What is my earliest memory of my mother? I have seen pictures taken where I was told I “bounced my crib” across the wooden floor over to the window and pulled the potted plant there into my crib and demolished it. But I do not remember that moment in time.
But as I go back in time and remember events, what comes to mind is my mom calling me and my four sisters to come inside for dinner. We are all wearing “yard britches”, which is what she called these navy and green ruffled plaid shorties that we wore over our underwear to go play in the big square sandbox my dad had built under the trees. It had seats on all four corners and my sisters and I played for hours with each other, building castles, digging tunnels and pretending to “make cakes” using the white sand as “sugar”.

I remember my mom had the hose out to wash the sand off of us, one at a time and when it was my turn to get rinsed off, I remember being enveloped in a heavy towel, stiff from being hung out on the line to dry, but fresh smelling, like a summer breeze. There is no smell as wonderful as laundry that has been hung outside to dry…and there is no feeling of protection and comfort so great as the strong confident arms of my beautiful mom, carrying me inside, keeping me warm and safe, to a hot dinner.
I remember my mom in the kitchen, wearing an apron but always so stylish. My mom, whom everyone said looked like Jackie Kennedy, is actually much prettier. She has beautiful dark hair and huge eyes and a beautiful smile with big white teeth, and stunning legs. She has been a knockout her entire life. I remember her teasing her hair, as she got ready to go out for the day, and fondly calling my dad “Humberto” and I sure wish I had some of her clothes she wore back then TODAY as they are classics.
My mom taught me how to do the Spanish “hat dance”, along with my sisters, and taught us all to sing, “Just a closer walk with thee”. We had so much fun learning that dance and working to get faster and faster at it…and it was really fun to watch my mom play the Ukulele. Reading with my mom, on the bed with my sisters and HER mom is also one of my earliest memories, and to this day I still love to read. My mom, an avid reader, took my sisters and I to the library every week to get books and we ADORED going to the library.

Usually on Saturdays, and then on Sundays we always fasted and then went to church. I remember my mom teaching me how to polish my black patent Sunday shoes, polish brass doorknobs on our early 1900’s vintage home, and polish the handles on the tub I was scrubbing on chores day. I remember in the afternoons, I could always find her outside either hanging out laundry for our family of seven, or bringing laundry in, and I could talk to her about whatever was bothering me, and she would listen. My mom was an emotional support for my dad when he ran for US Congress, and she was a financial support for him as well when she went to work full time once the five of us were in school. My mom working, was very much like the Mary Tyler Moore show. =)
I remember my mom leading prayers at night with our large wooden rosary, kneeling on the floor for the entire half hour it would take, never complaining, and never forgetting to pray with us. She economized every way she could but made sure we always had everything we needed to develop morally and ethically and physically sound. She made us baby doll beds out of oatmeal containers, using white contact paper with blue and red flowers for the outside and lining the inside with soft blue fabric and a home made pillow and a blanket. With these dolls and cradles, we learned how to nurture babies.

She made me a Pinocchio doll out of felt using a pattern, and she taught me how to pick fabric, sew and make an outfit myself as well.
My mom made sure I learned how to play tennis, how to swim, and how to cook. My first meal that I made was English muffins, with tomatoes, bacon and a hollandaise sauce, and I was so happy that everyone loved my meal. I am so proud of my mom for teaching me to cook and making cooking fun for me and my sisters. Even those of us not directly involved in the cooking for the day were able to sit and visit on the tray-less high chair in the corner of the kitchen, or help chop something up on the white ceramic topped table by the sink.
My mom encouraged me to be in the great books organization at school, and my sister and I were in the Junior Legion of Mary, as modeled by my mom. I remember sitting in the car at O’berry center in Goldsboro, or at the retirement home, while we waited for my mom to deliver food or provide a service, often we would accompany her inside on these service oriented visits.
I remember my moms beautiful clothes and her exquisite taste in choosing pure linens, or silk or cotton, and making sure things were starched and pressed and clean. I remember my mom for hours at the ironing board, starching and ironing the linens used by the priest on Sunday at mass on the alter, shaking the coke bottle with a cork and spout on it full of water to dampen the linens so they would press more evenly.
My mom volunteered as a fitness instructor for all the kids at our Catholic school, and I remember her in front of my class, outside in the grass, playing the song “go you chicken fat go” as she created a fun and enjoyable environment for us to exercise. My mom, always fit and always active, stayed busy, cycling with us to the park, or carrying groceries, or cleaning the house. She did not have to go to a gym, or lift weights to keep her trim shape, she lifted babies, cooked fruitcake cookies for the neighbors for holidays, and played games with us to keep mentally and physically fit. My mom is a scratch tennis player and can beat anyone at scrabble.

Her vocabulary is HUGE and she is an avid reader, some of her favorite books are by bishop sheen, and other spiritual leaders. She and my dad kept a library full of the classics for us to read, and we read highlights, readers digest and many other pieces of literature growing up. My mom taught us how to reason and think regarding politics, and taught us a conservative mindset, along side of my dad.
I do not remember my mom ever drinking, or smoking, or even taking medicine. She said she smoked when we were babies but she quit. If we felt bad we were told to take a nap and if we had a headache we were instructed to drink water. When so many mothers were traumatized by thalidomide babies who had been damaged due to maternal drug use, my mom who avoided all drugs and did as her mother did and used common sense to avoid disease, had five healthy girls in six years. The pharmaceutical industry, which promotes drugs, and seems to sidestep atoning for health problems it has caused instead of fixing them did not pollute my mom or any of her children and I am grateful we did not fall into the trap of taking a drug for every problem.
Ave Maria and edelweiss, and Hi Lilly Hi low, are some of my moms favorite songs and anytime we went anywhere, she would teach us a new song and encourage us to sing. My mom wanted us to learn Spanish and she speaks it fluently, and I remember how much I loved hearing her speak Spanish. She encouraged us to rely on Latin, which we learned in school, and explained how it helps us learn the origin of words which is very useful.
I remember when I would have bad dreams, I would creep down stairs and wake my mom and she would always comfort me and then let me sleep on the sofa in the room next to hers and my dads room. When I would wake up the dreams would always seem so distant and unimportant and I was grateful for her comfort. Every morning when I would go downstairs as a kid, my mom would have five steaming bowls of oatmeal or cream of wheat, for my sisters and I to enjoy.

She packed five boxed lunches every day for us to take to school. After school, I remember coming home from school and looking forward to the snack my mom would give us, sometimes it would be extra special apple pies made from biscuit dough and canned pie filling, fried and drizzled with a milk and powdered sugar glaze. YUM.
Growing up my mom allowed us to decorate our rooms and she did not yell at me later when she discovered I had painted the bricks on my fireplace an alternating red and white and she had to hire someone to strip the paint off the bricks and it was quite a process. (they were the colors of the college I was attending) I remember a HUGE laundry basket in the downstairs laundry room, where my mom would put missing clothes for us to find and fold and take upstairs.

I remember Christmas or thanksgiving or any special holiday would mean a feast at our house because my mom would spend the whole day cooking, and the whole week before cleaning so that our house would literally sparkle. My dad was so impressed with the way my mom did things, he even wrote a story about our home called “good ole 704” written from the perspective of a home, and the homes “awareness” of the love shown it by the mother inside, and her children.
There is so much good to remember about my mom, and the “home” she put into my thinking. It has occurred to me that home is something that our mothers give us that we can keep inside our entire life. It is that sense of belonging to something concrete, something special, and something memorable that endures. That “home” always invites us in, wants us to stay close, and does not depend on anyone from the outside, and cannot be taken away. That home along with those core values conveyed to me by a strong and loving mom, is like a diamond, unscratched.

My mom made sure we each knew what was good and what was right. She did not spend time teaching us all the ways things could go wrong, instead she taught us about God. If home is an environment like a garden, there are plants that, as soon as they are planted, are left in unfavorable or unfriendly environments, and are exposed to desiccating winds and torrential rains and are left in high traffic areas, where they are too fragile to cope and they get trampled.
In our garden, my mom was an expert gardener and her children were her little seedlings. She made sure we got outside and played in the sunlight, she made sure we had enough water but not too much, and did not substitute coke or alcohol for water, and she protected us from strangers and or friendly but perhaps deceptive environments. Growing up, my mom allowed us to play with children who were neighbors, the children of people she knew well and trusted and we were always close, so any accident could be handled by my mother who was only a few steps away. We were always carefully supervised and carefully taught.
My mom taught me to do unto others, to get up early, to do the work myself, to study and read and speak to God, to obey the commandments, to honor my parents, and to respect authority. Both she and my dad were role models, and they did not follow “trends” such as letting us watch TV, even though “everyone else was doing it”. Instead we sewed, read, played outside, wrote stories and poems, made puppets, prayed, cooked, cleaned, and had family discussions. I am so glad I have my mom, and all that she taught me because to me that is more valuable than what any school, or business could teach me. Growing up in my “home” is something I still cherish, just like I cherish the mom who provided that home for me, even when her life had to have been difficult, and she had to have made countless sacrifices that did not benefit her but benefited us. Mom, I know raising five daughters must have been a challenge and I hope we have all made you proud, and I see all that you have done for me and I thank you, I am SO GRATEFUL, and I love you.