Reward versus punishment

Listening to Joel Olsteen, I heard him talking during one of his radio shows, about how his little daughter wanted an ice cream cone with several scoops, but when she got it, the ice cream dropped on the ground. She was in tears and other kids were laughing. But Joel said that because “it is the fathers good pleasure to give us the kingdom” he went and bought her a triple decker ice cream cone. No body was laughing after that.

I love the idea of a father being someone who is a human example of our heavenly father, because of all of the good that God has intended for us, his children. God is not a father who says to his children, “ Because I had to work for everything I got, you have to work for everything you get”. The father would probably not say “ I must deprive you of good because I want to see you work for my blessings”.

The father in Joel’s story, like God, gives all that he can, to his child. Do children have to learn to work and use their talents…of course they do. But the good father is always there to support them with encouragement and sometimes with more practical forms of help. When at all possible, the good father WANTS to help his children.

We know this because of the story of the prodigal son. The father had two sons, and one son was always doing good and the father gave him access to all the blessings and all the success of the family. But the other son left home and wasted his funds and had to go back home to the father because he was penniless. But guess what, the father wanted to help that son too, and wanted to celebrate his return.

How many of us have a dilemma because one child who is a success, who never causes us any trouble, seems to get shortchanged, and another who is off wasting their inheritance, gets more assistance. The father loves both, and the children who have learned from the fathers good example, know that he is always going to be there for each of them individually, as they go about their fathers business.Those living a riotous life, have a lot to learn but even so, the father will help any family member who wants to come back home and who wants and asks for help. The father does not deprive anyone of the blessings.

I think this story can be confusing because sometimes when we want to help a person who is struggling, it can seem like we are rewarding bad behavior, and if we refuse to help someone because they are already so successful, it can seem like the withholding is a form of punishment. The fathers blessings might seem to need to reward good behavior while punishing bad behavior. But we learn that the father is called, above all, to love his children and to bless them because it is the father’s good pleasure to give his children the kingdom.

But in the bible, Jesus tells us the prodigal story, because for those who live a life of good; good is its own reward..we ALREADY HAVE blessings surrounding us as nothing is being withheld. If we need more, we only have to ask. And if we have drifted away and are struggling, we only have to turn back to the father, in order to receive the blessings.

In other words, living a life of good is a conscious choice where we align perfectly with God, our heavenly father, in order to receive the blessings.
Lastly, even if our human father denies us what we think we need, we still have our heavenly father to rely on who is capable of giving us all we need.
And because it is a conscious choice made by each of us, to lead a life of good, the father waits for us to exercise that free will, and turn to him. The love from the father is unceasing, but the choice is ours, to accept or reject the blessings of the father.

I had a wonderful example with my own dad. When I was struggling in college, my dad helped me find a job that forced me to take a look at my choices and reevaluate my goals and attitudes. He did not just give me money to go another year because it would have been a waste to go to college because I did not want to work hard. I had to figure out that I wanted to do something useful with my intelligence more than just live away from home.

Working from home for a few years grounded me so that I could eventually earn the money myself to go back to school. Free money to go to college would not have been a blessing if I had not chosen to make better use of my time. The blessing from my father was to help me learn to appreciate the blessings I had and made me want to do more with my talents, than just to be on my own.

My mom was also a wonderful example. My older sister wanted to learn to cook and she and my mom were always chatting up recipes, and planning menus and cooking together. My mom blessed my sister with her cooking skills because my sister wanted to learn.

For some reason I did not care much about cooking when I was living at home. My mom did not force me to cook even though I did make an occasional meal at her request.

But I really wanted to sew. My mom took me to the cloth barn and let me choose my own fabric and pattern to make a jumper. I remember it was bright blue fabric with white stars and even though my mom must have thought that fabric was so gaudy, she let me choose it and let me make the outfit, giving me sewing skills along the way…how to prestretch the fabric, how to find the selvedges, how to lay out a pattern and how to adjust a pattern, how to put in a zipper, how to use a sewing machine.

For me, the blessing was to learn about myself, that even though I was much more flamboyant than my mom, she would respect my individuality. To this day I am more flamboyant, but it has not stopped my mom and I from being close and appreciating each other including our differences.

The blessings of the father, as well as the blessings of the mother, who is supporting the father as the head of the household, can come in many shapes and sizes and can be big or small, but I am so grateful to know that these blessings are always available and never limited or withheld from us, as Gods children.