“Stuck” in perfection

Melissa Ann Howell Schier
6 min readDec 23, 2024

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The Sunflowers were so large they bobbed on the top of her computer as she typed. It was like they were saying “Look at us”. Filly and her husband had bought the sunflowers yesterday at Kroger, only five dollars a bunch. So two bunches of course. And Filly did look at them…and yes they were lovely indeed.

Most of what else they bought was for making cookies, flour, sugar, brown sugar, powdered sugar, butter, chocolate chips, Hershey kisses, marshmallows, M&M’s, candy canes and red and green sprinkles. Filly had seen this thing where a person sprays whipped cream over a candy cane in a muffin tin, and adds marshmallows and sprinkles and freezes it to later dunk into hot chocolate. Filly wanted to try that. Tater and Mister would be coming over to help bake. It would be a fun and festive day.

The counter in the kitchen was so covered with her little Christmas Treasures that she could barely see the counter itself. How would they bake she wondered…and then did not worry about it.

An obsessively neat person would be traumatized to see all the “stuff” Filly decorated the kitchen with at Christmas. There were wind up soldiers, musical globes with snow and glitter, at least ten nutcrackers of various sizes, candles in green jugs and candles in crystal candle holders, dolls and glass babies beside manger scenes as well as ballerina’s.

There were musical carousels, and musical spinning seats and a musical stage performing the nutcracker, with all the songs and dancers. There were snowmen and Christmas cake platters and Christmas plates. There were tiny Santa’s and big Santa’s, of a most unusual sort.

The day before Filly had started off decorating by putting the kids toy castle on top of the dining room table. Yep, that is because they always ended up eating in the kitchen and that table was usually big enough. So the dining room was now hosting the castle. She dusted the table and put the castle along with all the knights, and soldiers and cavalry.

There were the British, the confederates, the union soldiers and even old English knights and they are all working together in her world, to save that which is good…lol

The castle itself was a pink girl play castle but Filly had spray painted it silver because it made more sense. The last time the cousins were visiting they all had a battle and used socks to be bombs. It was a lot of fun. That was when the soldiers were on opposing sides. This time they were all on the same side, defending the king and the castle that was home.

Since Filly lived a lot of time in “her imagination” she had so much fun setting up the soldiers, and the horses. Ooops, there was a horse with a broken leg …time for the glue. Oh and there was a knight that has lost his flag. Got to locate it.

As the day progressed and the sun shone through the west facing windows of the dining room, the memory of her dad writing stories surfaced, a man who also enjoyed playing with the little cowboys and Indians on the table…and this was in her mind. She remember how much he also delighted in imagining what would be a cliff or a stream or an embankment.

Dad would totally approve of this castle for the kids when they came visit. And it was not just the castle that she had fun with. There were other things like her collection of “infants’ all scattered around the manger with the baby Jesus. She had found each one at an antique store over the years…each was less than three inches tall. a lovely montage of babies…lol

Filly had not yet found her GIANT baby Jesus yet…she had ordered a baby Jesus the year before, in order to have to put in the little manger. She wanted to do the straw…the way mom did with Filly and her sisters growing up…one straw in the manger for each good deed. The baby Jesus she ordered had the sweetest face and was beautiful. ONLY WHEN IT CAME IT WAS THE SIZE OF AN OUTDOOR NATIVITY JESUS…haha..like fourteen inches. Too big for the manger she had.

Tater likes to carry that big baby Jesus around. um ok…

Filly had also worked in the back yard and it was sparkling and they had put back out all the pillows on our lawn chairs again. Filly wondered if people knew that the squirrels liked to rip the cushion fabric on the cushions to steal swaths of the cotton stuffing inside to use as nesting material? Those BASTARDS lol.
Time for a bb gun. Tee hee. She weeded the back yard too yesterday and got about ten ant bites…that spray was working for the itch..SORT OF. Some were bleeding she had scratched them so much.

She also got some new snow men for the front yard…battery operated…the lighted deer they have were tired and bedraggled and dim. Unfortunately the snowmen are Kind of lame and dim too. ..they were supposed to light up and sing frosty the snow man but the batteries ran out so fast that there is no light and all that was visible was their red mouth singing…with no sound. Kind of creepy huh. But also funny. There was some wire hanging from them…but filly did not know how to make it work…there were no directions.

ALso they got some candy canes…that light up…and put a big stuffed nutcracker man on the door. Only thing is,..every time Filly walked by the front door she jumped, because It looked like someone was standing there. haha.

The sunflowers bobbed again, as if they were laughing along. Filly nodded with them approvingly and thought about the song sunflowers…and how it said that they were left in the dust…

The sunflowers on her table were evidence that they did not just get left in the dust.

Filly believed.

That meant that every single thing had a purpose and was not “alone” and was in fact part of a masterful plan for the universe including gigantic gorgeous sunflowers.

It was like her understanding God came from understanding flowers and understanding perfect flowers allowed her to see and understand “the perfect man”…

Every time Filly had wanted to get upset in the past, about some person or some thing, she had been advised to remember “the perfect man”. She had mistakenly thought that she was supposed to “see” that perfection in a flawed human being.
IMPOSSIBLE she thought.

But she had since realized that the perfect man existed independent of human circumstances. That was Jesus. And Jesus was about to be born again…on Christmas. The perfect man…an example of spiritual discernment and upliftment that caused even the angels to sing.

Seeing the perfect man allowed Filly to let other people do things that seemed dumb or wrong… and not try to control them, because it was knowing that God was in control of every person and every thing.

She still gave a warning if someone was doing something dangerous or aggressive, because she knew God would not allow evil a “path” to take out the good. A warning was like being a watchman…sounding the alarm when a person can see it.
But Knowing God was in control brought a feeling of peace and freedom. Knowing God was in control also allowed Filly to see herself in a fresh new light, knowing she was trying to act in such a way as to not satisfy herself but allow God to plan her “meal” for her. When God planned it, it was always so much better than what she had envisioned for herself.

Trusting God might seem to be limiting freedoms, but Filly found it to be the opposite…to be expansive and powerful. She knew no matter what…God was in charge and she could relax. God’s power was magnificent.

Like the people singing on her phone when she walked “ And the angels sing, HOLY…it was powerful…gorgeous… and magnificent she could not stop listening to it. It thrilled her every time.

https://x.com/thesoundhub_/status/1865697832172491227

Christmas was almost here. The sunflowers were ready to smile on Baby Jesus with their sunny yellow Faces…. perfection. Welcome back Jesus! HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

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Melissa Ann Howell Schier
Melissa Ann Howell Schier

Written by Melissa Ann Howell Schier

HoustonWorkout on YouTube, mom of five, journalist and artist and conservative who values life.

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