Walk
There is a letter in my memorabilia from my dad, hand written to me, when I was in college. I had a difficult time in high school but even a more tumultuous and difficult time in college.
But my dad wrote to me, when I was still in college, about a time when I was just a little girl. He talked in the letter about going to church back at home and seeing a little girl in the seats in church when he went up to communion and again back when he went back to his seat.
He said she was looking at him and had big expressive eyes and long braids and seemed shy.. but was looking at him. He said she was gangly and thin like I was. Then he said she reminded him of me…and how I used to look at him with my big eyes, wanting his approval.
He said, all those years past or gone by, where I felt like maybe I did not have his approval, he wanted me to know that always “HE APPROVED OF ME”.
That letter still leaves a lump in my throat. My dad could tell, that back in those days, I suffered a lot… not feeling good enough, not feeling accepted, not feeling approved of. He was intuitive, and not only that, he was responsive. Years later, it was not too late to say what he said..in case I had not known…maybe even to put it in writing. That letter means the world to me.
My dad was an artist, a writer, a poet, a runner, an actor, a leader in the community, a politician, and yet most of all he was a dad. More than anything he wanted me to know I was good enough already…Good enough from the day I was born.
I am now a parent. I have five children. Each of them has suffered in different ways. Some through divorce, some through athletic challenges and injuries, some through religious and political discrimination or persecution.
It is possible, that some of them, along the way, like I did, stopped listening to what their father, or what their heavenly father God believed about them. and instead were getting hurt by the things the world seems to be saying. Maybe even thinking they were not good enough.
The world is full of hurt and miserable people, unhappy with their lives. In the guise of sympathy, they operate, gaining traction, because “misery loves company”. They make good people question themselves in a way that causes hurt and pain. Children who do not get approval start listening to the wrong voices to get their approval.
What I know is that each of my children, with their births, brought to the world incredible potential and possibility, some with extreme high level intelligence and curiosity, some with fantastic social and coordination skills, some with high athleticism and motivational skills, and some with unbelievable writing and artistic skills. None of these children of mine are deficient. None should be rejecting the person they were born to be, in favor of some “progressive” worldly generated concept that causes them to reject their very being. They are good enough already.
“SEEMING” rejection from the world brings pain, starting in childhood and throughout adulthood. We all have to deal with this. Expressing sadness when in pain, is normal and can be therapeutic. Drugs to stifle pain can seem to deaden it, but pain sometimes surprisingly can be a useful motivator towards good. The greatest pain however, I believe comes with self rejection, and it escalates beyond worldly rejection because from it, there appears to be no escape.
Parents can see, like my dad could see, that approval of children when very young, and who we they are as innocent and perfectly created beings in God’s universe, is of critical importance, because it helps children accept themselves, and move forward, independent of the opinion of others. They can avoid self rejection. They will not say, “I am not good at this” or “I can never do this right”. They will feel good about trying.
God did not make any mistakes. There are no wrongly created human beings. There is no wasted life. There is a divine purpose for every single creation. Children cannot respond well to being called goofy, or slow, or stupid or ugly. None of these words are even true and parents can instead, affirm the truth. Children are “learning, growing, gaining competence, allowed to make mistakes”…these things are the truth.
Interestingly, regarding mistakes, I notice, that as I type, every time I have a word with a “tion” at the end of it, I accidentally add an extra i. Creation becomes creatioin. And I have to go back and take out “I”. I do not know why this happens but it seems to be a bad habit. A mistake. We all make mistakes but bad habits and mistakes do not have to stay with us.
Perhaps my typing mistake can be an analogy for what we need to do as individuals, if we believe we have been rejected, or are feeling pain that seems to be unremitting. We can recognize that it is normal to be sad, but in addition we can realize that the rejection (not rejectioin) starts with having too many “i’s”…too many “what’s” or “who’s” that are we listening to, that makes us feel that we are not good enough, not perfect as we were born.
That our “perceived inequities” can be fixed or manipulated by manipulating “matter” instead of paying attention to that which is good is where we can start to make a change. We can instead be listening to one mind or God as our source of approval. God is good.
Good is tangible. It is not a “lovely intangible”. When someone recognizes and BELIEVES that they are already GOOD ENOUGH, they can take stock of their attributes, organize their life, and move forward. Our belief, of being good enough, drives our car, plans our trip, and allows for a joyful destination.
My dad and my mom, believed in me. My husband and I believe in our children. We approve of them. They are good enough, the way they were at birth. The world cannot make them feel deficient. The world cannot take away their joy. Even those who have no living parents, can appreciate that God, their heavenly father, approves of them.
I heard a sermon about a flower bulb planted accidentally in a bunch of weeds. It had a hard time growing…the weeds tried to make it feel that it did not belong unless it gave up and allowed them to take over. “We are all weeds” they said and “you must be one of us”.
But the bulb was not a weed. It was never a weed. And when it bloomed, it was so tall and provided so much beauty and color and perfection, that it was able to see across to the garden where other bulbs were blooming. It realized that it had always had that potential and that it’s possibilities were greater than what it had seen with is limited perspective when it had let the weeds take over.
We are all flowers of great beauty. The weeds cannot stop us from blooming. The weeds cannot stop us from being grateful. The weeds cannot stop us from forgiving those who have hurt us. The weeds cannot stop us from expressing joy.
My randomly chosen bible verse for the day…
Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour.[a] 2 And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. 3 Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked to receive alms. 4 And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” 5 And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. 6 But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” 7 And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. 8 And leaping up, he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. 9 And all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10 and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms. And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.
What I noticed about this bible verse, first is that it says the man was lame from birth. But if we realize that God created man perfect, then he was actually never lame. That must be what Peter and John saw and believed.
Peter and John said to LOOK AT US. “Look at good”. They did not see a lame man. They saw a perfect man. The lame man was looking at his basket hoping for alms or money but Peter and John said that they had something else to give him. They gave him spiritual direction…where to look and how to take action. Look up. See what they saw. Be grateful. Look for the good. Expect good to happen. Rise up and walk.
For all of us, who, like my father, can see those around us who feel un-approved of, who are stuck in the mire of pain and anguish; we can all help those individuals focus on that which is good, and let them know that they are already good enough, and can indeed “walk”. They can indeed “live”. I looked up the meaning of walk.
Bible hub… Meaning: to walk. Word Origin: A primitive root. Corresponding Greek / Hebrew Entries: — G4043 (περιπατέω, peripateo) — to walk, to live.
Like the man in the bible, We can indeed be healed. We can indeed walk and “live”. We can indeed be happy. Joy to the world, the lord IS COME. Right here. Right now.