Who wants negative change?
May 4 2023
I just got back from a trip to Austin in order to help put on a garage sale, on a Wednesday. I tried to deposit the rolled coins at Bank of America but the lady at the counter would not take my deposit with my bank card, (like the teller at the Bank of America in Austin would do) and she refused unless I filled out a microscopically printed deposit slip… which I could not easily do with my arms loaded with bills and coins so I also refused to deposit. Seems like most people do not want change, even when it is money, even when it is a bank. But I digress, so let me start at the beginning.
Most garage sales are on Thursday, and I am not familiar with how people in Austin respond to Garage sales but I had hoped to go help others earn some money to help facilitate their move to a new location.
I had spent the day before doing errands, pulling things out into the garage to sell, cleaning them off, pricing them, and getting change, only to learn that Wednesday is indeed not a good day for garage sales.
(Also, turns out that there were buckets of change in the house that no one wanted so I hadn’t needed to get any… and we spent the whole day at the garage sale, waiting for people to come and rolling that loose change to put back in the bank).
As we sat, waiting and rolling, one person said that they were depressed because all the things that were being sold represented changes away from some of the happiest times of life, which now seemed gone.
There was a small, well made, portable black grill that represented fun times camping with family; craft supplies that represented fun ideas shared for grand art projects on the road; and games that were played during gatherings with, what were once close friends, who had now distanced themselves. That change, from happy to sad, was indeed unwelcome and unwanted.
This person who was sad, has so much amazing talent, warmth of personality, and genuine love for others, yet happiness seemed out of reach and there was no awareness of the positive view others had. I learned that this person only relied on one other person’s perspective for positive self image reinforcement, and if that significant other was deficient or UN-supportive, it manifested itself in depression.
I thought about that as we dragged through the day, one customer an hour, struggling to meet our goals for the day. I get it that negative change can make a person depressed.
There were stressful things that happened to me in the moment, that threatened to make me feel like I was not happy any more, as well. For instance, most of my family lives far away and I do not get to see them very often. But I can remember my childhood and it was happy and I treasure it.
I have not lost that happiness. But in the moment, as I was trying to help sell things that were valuable for much less than they were worth, I could feel sad or like I was wasting my time. But instead of being sad that these items were not going to be of use any more to the original owners, I was grateful when new people needed them and were able to purchase them at an affordable price.
One family, from Germany, who came at the very end of the day, wanted the rest of the big items that we were going to try to sell the following day so I was glad that they came, so we could put everything away, and take the rest to donate. But I still had to deliver the items to the new apartment for the girl, who bought the items, who was starting school in Austin from California.
It made me think back to when my own daughter started school at North Texas in Denton, and I wanted her to get a great education because that is what people did, who wanted to help their kids succeed, was to send them to college. It wasn’t until years later, that I found out that one of her professors was telling them in class that there was no purpose to life, and that God was not real, and that it does not matter what a person does because they are just going to die.
I sent my kids to college because I wanted them to be better, but not only was it not better, it was destructive, and was responsible for an onset of depression for her back then. If I could do it over, I probably would never have sent any of my kids to college. College is not the good place today that it used to be for kids.
I think today, college is destructive for most kids. I think that internships are much more productive and uplifting and positive.
I continued thinking about the way our self image can slip and slide when things go wrong when I was loading my truck with the items the German family bought, because it was only after I had loaded the entire truck that I realized my keys were in the back underneath all the furniture I had just loaded. I had to unload the whole truckload in order to get the keys, making me feel very inadequate and goofy.
That was a dent in my self image, but imagine someone you trust, like a teacher saying that nothing you do matters? Imagine that you, as a parent, paid for your kid to learn that garbage? That is total destruction to your self image and positive self worth.
If instructors or friends are giving ideas that make young adults see themselves negatively by doubting their parents, or doubting God, or thinking that they need to change their bodies or their morals, how is that going to make them more successful? I think professors who sell this mind bending garbage to students are very self serving and are, in fact, NOT concerned with their students best interests.
Parents are the ones most likely to have the students best interests at heart and THEIR influences are thwarted at places of “higher” education, to the demise of good colleges in my opinion.
Parents trust the teachers and students trust the teachers, but quite a few teachers are becoming warped. Another word for warped is crooked. (lol)
In my quick little self analysis, I could become quite depressed thinking I had ruined my kids by sending them to colleges with many warped (crooked) teachers.
But that is when I thought about that one special relationship that a person can rely upon for a good and positive self image. I realized that as a child, I relied on my father, and that now as an adult, I rely on my heavenly father. THAT is who I have my special long term, infallible relationship with. That is how I hold on to my joy, and avoid sadness.
When I want to know what God thinks, I can talk to him…he is always listening and yet still, I talk to him out loud. When I want to know what he wants me to do, I randomly pick a bible verse and it always speaks to me about the problem at hand. It is the most reliable, meaningful and uplifting intimate relationship anyone can have.
I just listened to a YouTube video sent to me by my daughter with Oli London, who also credits Jesus and church with helping solve problems.
The problems that I felt faced with myself which seemed beyond my control because it was in the past, about warped professors, seemed as impossible as the problems facing the person who did this video.
But when I released this worry and stress and sadness to God by praying and talking out loud to God, I felt free and I felt cared for. It was not that I was ignoring the things, but rather that I was asking God to take charge because I knew his ways would be superior to my human ways.
Someone said that worry is like rocking back and forth furiously in a rocking chair, because no matter how hard you rock (worry), you are not getting anywhere.
So by letting go and letting God, I was able to listen to some uplifting videos, like the one my daughter sent, with positive messages, and do chores instead of crying and feeling overwhelmed about all my kids. (I have five) I guess what I am saying is that I do not let the sad thoughts take root in my spirit, when I can tell God about it and let God handle it.
Maybe that seems goofy to people, because thinking God is always there for me, is not a kool way to think; but I trust prayer implicitly. Prayer always works for me. Always.
I did not need change at the garage sale, and I do not think that kids need negative change from the moral code taught to them by their parents either. Colleges that do this are not higher education, they are lower education.
God tells me with the bible verses I read, that he does not want me to live feeling worried, guilty, unforgiven or depressed because he needs me to shout with joy. A motivational speaker once told me that my goal spiritually was to find a way to always feel joy and find something to be grateful for. So when I am stuck in that “rocking chair” worrying, I start saying out loud any small thing I can be grateful for.
I do not know when I will have another garage sale, but I am so happy that I had that one in Austin, and I learned so much from being there.
This is what God says about it… Randomly chosen bible verse in James 5:13 Is anyone among you in trouble? let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.
The only change we want is change from sadness to gladness. YES!
Last but not least, speaking about things which seem impossible to overcome, I found a piece of plaster in the house that reminded me of what Jesus might have looked like, from the back, walking on the water.
In Matthew chapter 14, Jesus walked across the water when there were big waves so I imagine you could only see the top half of him in the waves, and since he looked like a ghost to those in the boat, the white plaster seems appropriate.
I found a painting that matches my perceptions or the images that I picture in my head, about what that event looked like, from the human perspective, by Ivan Aivazowsky in Health impact news, titled “I can do all things through Christ”. Yes, we can, and our prayers, asking for God’s help to prevent negative change, are answered.